Thought itself can never hurt you; only what you make of thought can.

When meeting with clients, understanding ‘thought patters’ is such an  important part of our discussions.  One’s approach to challenges; one’s bounce back from disappointments; one’s view of oneself; one’s views and approach to networking, preparing for and going through the interview process; and, the stories we are telling ourselves about ourselves – are all informed by the underlying thoughts that we have of ourselves in the first place.  

Thoughts constantly come and go.  They are not ‘real’ – a thought really is just a thought.  The way that I explain ‘thoughts’ is in a way that was described to me by Angela Hardy (@ Cloud 9).  Think of thoughts as you would white tissues floating around.  They come and go … but it is the thought that you start spending time on that lands and settles.   Thinking about this thought, allowing the emotions to reflect your thinking, is akin to the tissue smouldering prior to catching alight … and the more thinking on that thought so more fuel is added to this fire – the twigs and kindling and then the log until what was just a though has become a great bonfire of emotions.   And this all seemed from the story that you have been telling yourself!

Thoughts pass through.  Always.  Yes, you might have an unsettled and uncomfortable feeling from them … but that does pass too.  It passes when you acknowledge the thought and then just dismiss it.  There is no need to remain stuck in that habitual whirl of thinking …. The uncomfortable feelings will change for other feelings when you settle.  Trust this. 

Understand the ‘go to’ internal chatter – and question it “is this story that I am telling myself really and absolutely and completely true”.  

Talk back to your thoughts – with GRACE, understanding and gentleness. Your thoughts are not true.  

THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE your interpretation of recent events are purely in your thought.  So, for instance, 2021 is drawing to a close and you have yet to have secured the job that you wanted to.  The past couple of interviews were interesting but nothing have come from them.   You are now beginning think that you might never find good work – and you are looking at friends around you and seeing ‘everyone else’ on course.  Your interpretation so depends on the story that you are telling …and your interpretation can be changed to a new story that comes with possibilities and opportunities.  

• You have had 2 interviews.  Nothing has come through YET but you do have some new connections and you are more insightful as to how to prepare for your next interview.

• This year has been challenging – and despite that you have accomplished things that you had not anticipated.

• Yes, many of your friends have jobs.  You are so pleased for them and looking forward to working yourself within the next month.

• You are so capable and so able.  You are equipped with the tools to undertake meaningful work.  You are excited about this new chapter ahead.

Consider how you are talking through things.  And reframe.  It helps, it really does.

And no matter the season, please remain mindful of acknowledging and noticing all that you are appreciating.