The truth is that the story we tell about our life becomes the story of our life.
I have heard this said so often and in so many ways. As somebody who chats a lot I am only recently really noticing that the stories that I tell about myself are so repetitive and are, quite frankly, blanket statements that could do with a might new re write!
How often do you hear your family members or colleagues tell you that they are ‘tired’ when asked how they are? Stressed is the word that I am hearing at the moment – especially given that I am working in a wonderful school over this exam period. With friends I hear “so busy”, “over loaded”, “eating too much”, “not fit enough”, “working too hard”.
But, are we actually? And is the whole story? And if we are describing our current situation in repetitive and familiar ways, what are we saying about our past?
I found school very hard. Learning was not easy, and exams were nerve wracking. Despite trying I also failed exams – and tests. And because of this, so my career was far from straight. And I tell people that I got into university “through the chimney pot”. In many respects I did – I spoke my way in and had to figure out a way to convince the powers that be that I was potentially a good student!
HOWEVER, because I am wanting to rewire the rather debilitating narrative, I am also noticing that there really is another story weaving within the story of failure. A story of determination, of grit, of passing exams, of creating opportunities, of making great friends, of trying things out, of raising a happy family, of starting a business, of successfully helping people and of pushing on … and actually this is a story that serves me so much better.
No matter your age, I would love for you to take a walk along your ‘career’ line. You can do this in your mind’s eye – or physically in the room that you are in.
Go to your start line. For some it might be at the beginning of Primary or University. For others it might be at the start of their working life. Start at a place where you have accomplished something that you were pleased about. Describe the details of this occasion – feel the elation, the satisfaction. Was it a time when you wrote a really good test or exam? Was it playing in an exchillerating sports match? Perhaps it was a tine at University? Or when taking on a position within a company and completing an important task? Whatever the occasion, relish it. Feel it. Be excited about it. Just notice.
And then go to the next occasion, and then next one and the next. After about five different stops on your ‘time line’ look back – WOW yourself. What were the good feelings about. And what else are you learning about yourself that would be amazing to be informing your new story that you tell. Going forward from now, how would you really like to be? What are the words and feelings that you would like to be stepping into? How would you day be if you just knew that you are capable and bright, and engaged and of great worth and value. And if you just trusted that this really is the absolute truth, what would you like to be doing now? What would you like to be stretching yourself towards? What would you like to be making possible for yourself.
I love the quote that is ascribed to Mariannne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fears that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us. It is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others”.
Give yourself permission to shine, to shine bright. Tell your story – your great great story. There is always greatness, despite the difficulties and trials. See where you have shone through that!