You have been turned down for an internship, for example.  What is your immediate response and reaction?  How does this follow through re the story that you are telling yourself?

I met with a young man the other day from Cape Town.  He had yet to secure an Internship and was despondent and flat.  He was also feeling a little angry as he felt that decisions had been made unfairly and he just was not given the chance.  Early on in our session he was telling me that he would: ‘… never get an internship’ and that he would ‘… find any work so hard’ and that he just ‘… was just destined to never get a job’.  

IS THIS TRUE …ABSOLUTELY, 100% THE TRUTH?  And the answer to this is NO, it is not absolutely true. 

Yes, for this young man, he is competing for places.  He is one of many applying for sought after internships.  But, with this, there is a healthier and more productive response to the fear, frustration and feelings of rejection that have come from a couple of declines.  

So many times we are reminded of what Victor Frankel (Man’s Search for Meaning)  tells us:  “between stimulus and response there is a space.  In that space is our power to choose our response.  In our response lies our growth and our freedom”.  What can this mean in the case of the young man?  

Here are some other responses that could prove useful and provide greater resilience:

Even though they have declined my application, I am still going to write to them again – thanking them for the consideration and asking them to keep me on their list;

Perhaps I could even call the HR department and ask them for other ideas;

I still have 5 other places that I am applying to – I am hopeful that something will come of this.

CV Letter CALL

SITUATION:

You have not had an acceptance for the internship that you have applied to.  Typical me, I never get seen and accepted.  I am not good enough, I will never get a good job.  And look at my friends, they are all working.  This is so stressful … this is impossible …. I hate this.  And then – eat, drink, numb yourself and blame the world!  

ANOTHER WAY OF LOOKING AT IT.

I have not got this internship.  Gosh, I though that my application was good but obviously they are looking for something else.  What I do know is that I will get an internship and I just need to keep going.  I wonder who else I should approach tomorrow.  Let me look at my letter again – there is maybe something else that I can add.  Flip, this is disappointing – but I am glad that there are other opportunities out there that I shall apply to.  I’ve got this.

Even though the last application resulted in a NO, for me this is “Next One”. 

I am reviewing my CV – does it really need to say?  What changes would be helpful?

This time my covering letter will really link me to the position that I am applying for.

And I am definitely following through more persistently.  How can I keep in touch with them so that they just just say yes to me!

And now I am going to take care of my overall health – so that I feel energised and well. 

Who else can I speak to.  I am going to start reaching out to my ‘Board of Advisers’.

I know that I need to be aware of the thoughts that I am thinking – I am not my thoughts!

I AM directing my thought life and as a result I know that I am more determined and entrepreneurial in my approach to looking for internships.

REVIEW, REFRESH, RESTART.  You can do this!