What are you saying to yourself about yourself?  What do you ruminate on? From what perspective are you choosing to view a problem, a concern, as situation?  

Your perception of events guides your thoughts.  And your thoughts can entangle you or inspire you.  You have a choice – but in being more aware of how you are thinking, so you are in a better position to be discerning.  I wonder if you see the best in situations, or ruminate on a perspective that just drags you down?  

Your PERCEPTION about events, and yourself, really matters when it comes to self assurance, tenacity and grit, real empathy and courage.  Being aware of our the lens through which we view life helps in becoming aware of our reactions – and with that to work towards reacting to events in a wholesome and healthy way.  

I always want to do good work and I work hard to deliver that.  I also have a very loud and persistent critical voice that if I listened to too much, I would just give up!  I know the voice – it is loud – but I am learning to question it, learn from the self criticism (and yes, often I can do better) and be aware that I can fall into that patter of judgmental and catastrophising thinking.  And it is because I am now so aware of this pattern, that I am teaching myself to put on the more clear thinking glasses, the glasses of a truer perspective and glasses that are not so very ‘black and white’ but are nuanced with perspective and insight. 

Close your eyes.  Imagine being with a small group of friends, with super music playing in the background, and your friends are listening to you, loving what you are saying, are respectful of you and you are having great fun together.  You are laughing and chatting and you are so engaged.  What is your posture?  What are you feeling?  How is this Wonderful time reflected in your face?

And now, imaging that you are with friends.  They are ‘dissing’ you and not listening to you – they are appearing as if they do not care about what you have to say.  You are not being valued or heard.  How is your body now?  Where are your shoulders?  How does your face look?  How are you feeling? 

I am asking you to do this exercise from the comfort of your chair at home – where you are completely safe.   And yet, this exercise of using your imagination has quite an impactful affect on your mood and your feelings.  Feelings are very real – and they come from thoughts.  What is shaping your thoughts?

With this in mind, the challenge that I would like you to take up is to look for all the evidence that has already shown up in your life where you can prove to yourself that you are likeable, competent, able, formed friendships.  Put on the glasses that enable you to look at events during your day with a wisdom, a clarity and inner powerfulness.  Know your thinking and choose to think in a way that enables you to deal with difficulties and challenges head on.  Also be aware of your thinking enough to see the utter joy and delights in your life, the very good things and the possibilities that are there for you to enjoy. .  

You are valuable and capable and needed.  Think in a way that inspires you to strive, keep learning, enjoy friendships and are in a position to tolerate the idea of FAILing (first attempt in learning)  with anticipation!