Hello from a beautiful Autumnal Somerset. The leaves are falling and it is getting cold. I am complaining about this so much and YET I also love it. I love the feeling of damp freshness on my skin and I do find something very beautiful about the dark evenings. Dare I say, this change of season is invigorating to me (when I am moving and enjoying the great outdoors!). Leaves are falling and this is also a reminder to ‘let go’ of weakening habits, to ‘let go’ of a way of thinking and being that does not serve us well.
With this, I am thinking of a client who I met this week. She finished her studies a few years ago and has been working since. Her current role does not suit her. She is frustrated and wants to make a change. This, she can do. HOWEVER it is the story that she tells herself about herself that is preventing her from reaching out to her very good contacts which have the possibility of opening up opportunities for herself.
The main theme of her story is that she has to ‘do this alone and not ask for help’. Both her parents and many of her friends know somebody who is in the industry that she wants to move into. Her connections are excellent, however she keeps telling herself that it would be ‘embarrassing’ and ‘not right’ to reach out to them. She is judging the situation critically. She is making assumptions about her connections that are not proved at all. She is telling herself: they are too busy; I have to do this myself; it is embarrassing; they will think that I am useless for not doing this myself. The excuses are another form of procrastination, that stops you from doing what you can do. It is your own protective mechanism to keep you ‘safe’.
And so, from then desk of Branching Out, I want to say:
Even if you have a door opened to you, an opportunity, because of your connection – you STILL have to do the job; it is still up to you to do what is expected of you. Know this.
People like to help; they are honoured to be asked and will help and often help comes in the form of helping you see a new direction or giving good advice that you can follow through on.
A discussion, a conversation about the area of work is equally valuable. And, your contact is getting to know you better – beyond just being a family friend.
Connecting with a connection gives you greater scope to learn more about the industry. You might get a bit of an insider track to understanding certain roles. Also, the person that you are meeting with might well identify something in you that you had not recognised as being relevant or important.
Your connection will be pleased that you have reached out. Also, your connection might gain something from reflecting on his or her work and career. Also, and importantly, you might well be the exact type of person that they are needing! They might not have ideas for you or be able to help, but they might know of somebody who knows somebody else who knows somebody else! You just need to start the ball rolling.
So – in short – take a deep breath and reach out. Email your connections, tell them what you are doing and why you are wanting meet with them and do so from a position of professionalism. After your meet up, remember to thank them for their time. And do keep them updated on your progress. It keeps the doors open for other future chats.
When you are connecting, remember always that you have something valuable to offer:
You are speaking to somebody from a position of knowing that you have skills, knowledge and insights that you can offer and want to use to the best of their company. You still will need to have done very very thorough research on the industry and know about the competitors etc. You still need to commit and be utterly professional. You know that you can be an asset – and this is to their advantage.
You are asking because you know that you have what is needed. Also, it helps them – they are looking but are inundated with so many applications. You know the company and they have a background to you – a back ground that they can trust.
You still have to know your work; you still have to be extremely employable; you still have to do good work; you still have to keep learning; you still have to be an asset to the company; you still have to forge good relationships with your colleagues. You still have to do the work.
How do you best reach out:
An email, introducing yourself again – what you have been doing and why you are contacting them.
Ask if you can meet for a coffee or to set a time for a telephone conversation.
Meet with them as a professional – not just friend. Be ‘business like’ and friendly. You are an adult now. With new and current knowledge.
Follow up with a thank you note. Always speak highly of those who have helped you. Be grateful. And do the same for somebody else.
Stand Steady. Stand Out. Branching Out.