We respond so differently in times of deep anxiety and stress.  I have clients who are just so calm, and able to remain focused and undeterred – seeing a bigger picture from the outset.  And others, like the young woman that I met this morning – who are so debilitated with feelings of anxiety and overwhelm that they just stop seeing the ‘wood from the trees’ altogther.  

Hatty was just so tearful, and quite frankly – desperate. I saw her in a state of utter despair, and this only fuelled her feelings of hopelessness and ‘not enoughness’.  She was struggling to put together her CV.  She feels rather isolated and did not have any one around who she felt she could call upon to help.  With this, she was panicked, disheartened and very overwhelmed.  She had completely disempowered herself in that moment. 

I was so pleased that she called me.  I do understand these feelings all too well.  What helped her:

Actually allowing herself to cry deeply – she noticed how the tears helped to relieve the tension and the deep breathing started to ground her;

She spoke to herself with some passion!  “OK Hatty, this is so hard and I know that you just want to give up and chuck your computer out of the window … I know that you are raging at the moment … and this will pass.  Just keep going with the task that you are trying to do.  It does not have to be perfect at this point, but also know that this CV will be completed and you will learn how to do it more easily next time.  And, Hatty, you have real experience that matters to others.  You are capable – you have proved this over and over again ……”.

And as the dialogue with herself took on a kinder note, a more insightful note, a SUPPORTIVE note, and she was able to step out of the sheer frustration and desperation of the moment.  

She calmed down enough to keep going on something that mattered.  She reset … and though she might need to keep resetting … she did it this morning and she will do it again.

What I did remind her to do too, was to:

• Move her body, even if just shaking herself on the spot (this releases the adrenaline that builds up);
• Have a glass, or 2,  of water;
• To breath deeply (in for 4 breaths, hold for 7 and then out for 8);
• Use the pad of paper at hand to just scribble down what is going on … write … ;
• And start with one tiny task that she would like to accomplish.

This feeling passes – and you are so so able, capable and needed by others to do the work that you do!