It is as simple as that – ‘say’s who’?

We has been another glorious early Johannesburg morning.  Running with friends, the sun has yet to come up, out in the open – we just chat. We chat about all sorts of things and often in a very open and raw way.  These times are liberating and exhilarating, and there is a ‘what is said on the run stays on the run’ policy – and we share, discuss, laugh and cry with a knowing that by the time the run is over, we are just so looking forward to our coffee that any woes are behind us and we are in a good place for carrying on with our days.   

I am forever grateful for these times – I have learnt so much through our runs about others as well as about myself.  And also, though I know that therapy is so extremely valuable, often these runs and walks do that very job – completely excellently too.  This is why I am an ardent advocate for people ‘walking and talking’.  

There does not need to be an agenda or an assumption that every get together will mean deep and difficult conversations – but if somebody does need to say something that is on their heart, then this is a good place to start talking.  Somehow, the self critical inhibitions are melted away when outside.  When in the open, we become more open.  

So, the other day a friend was telling me about her new business venture.  She, for some time, had been stuck as to how she could or should be expanding.  She was observing similar businesses and just assuming that she could not do what they were doing – that she was not in the situation to be as successful.  As she expressed her regrets and frustrations, another friend just “(kindly) admonished her with a “SAY’S WHO”?  

…AND THAT IS EXACTLY RIGHT …

Who are we listening to when we tell ourselves stories that keep us locked down?; 

The opinions that we hold as being absolutely correct – whose opinions are these? – why are we assuming that their view is the right one for us?; 

When that loud voice in our head tells us that we can’t, “SAY’s WHO”?  

I hope that you will come to the powerful (and rather alarming) realisation that actually the only limits to your hopes and vision is YOU.  Choose the story you tell yourself and question, please, the stories that you are telling yourself all too habitually.  

It is Autumn in Johannesburg, and Spring in Somerset – a perfect season to make a plan with others and enjoy the magnificent benefits of being out and about.   Even if you do not ‘feel’ like it, just do it!  And I hope that when you walk and talk with others, you will be inspired, energised and motivated.

Have a wonderful day ahead. 

And some questions to ask yourself:

“Let’s say ….. you started living your life with unconditional self-acceptance.  

What would that look like? 

What would you do differently? 

What would you say yes to? 

What would you say no to? 

What would you work harder on? 

What would you let go of?

How would you speak to yourself?

How would you speak to others? 

Dr Julie Smith, Why has Nobody told Me This Before? (2022)