“Crocodiles are easy.  They try to kill and eat you. People are harder.  

Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first”.  Steve Irwin.

The above is a bit of an awful quote, but there is at times some truth in it.  I  frequently speak to young clients about their friendship groups.  I am interested in the types of friends that they have around them, and I am always curious as to how they would describe themselves as a friend to others, posing the question “If I were to meet with your friends at break time today, how would they describe you to me”?.

Friendships seriously matter.  I know that that there are all sorts of politics and psychology within friendship group dynamics, HOWEVER if a young person can put on their ‘very wise and brave thinking cap’ they would steer themselves towards the friends that are sincere, that want the best for them, and CARE. 

True friends are those people who really do want to the best for you.  Working in schools, I sense the group dynamics around me.  Yesterday there was a group at a school that I was working at who were egging each other on to lark around and disobey clear rules.  Fun for them.  Aggravating to others.  Disrespectful to staff.  They were having fun together and also affirming their sense of belonging – though sadly within a group being led by a chap who was craving affirmation and getting in through bad behaviour.  I do get it and I have been there myself.  This ‘group’ is on a downward spiral that will be of a disservice beyond school life.  Their sense of fun is destructive and intimidating.  Difficult for them to see, and I hope for their sakes that they choose a getter path – a path that holds promise. 

Imagine if you were a part of a group: 

that valued hard work;

that aspired to do well;

that encouraged you;

that listened to your views and ideas with respect;

that wanted the very best for you;

that recognised your worth;

that kept your private conversations private;

that was inclusive and embracing of you and others;

that you felt safe within;

that support you when you need that help;

that enjoys the camaraderie;

that you can be your best self.  

Surrounding yourself with people who are kind and want the best for you is what will give you the support and encouragement to give of your very best.  You are worth it!